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Remember how wedding planning is supposed to be this amazing thing where you get to frolic through a field of wildflowers while you wave your left hand to watch your ring cast flickers of rainbow light in the sun while simultaneously picking out china patterns and linens with the other hand?

No?

Oh, right.

Ahem.  So tonight R and I decided to take a break from the wedding blah blah and watch Man vs. Wild.  Oh yes, that is a real tv show, people.  Hosted by Bear Grylls.  And oh yes, that is his name.  Not the one his mama gave him, of course.  She probably named in Frank.  But hello, this is show-business people.  And how far to you expect to get in the real-life-wilderness-survival-drama business if your name is Frank?

Thus, BEAR Grylls was born.  Or rather, re-born.  Or re-named.  Whatever.  Never mind that in the episode where Bear thought he actually HEARD a real bear rustling near him, he spent the next 8 hours running.   It was emBEARassing to see Bear’s cowardice in that episode.   I couldn’t BEAR it.

Ok, I’m done.

But anyway.

There’s truly nothing that can quite put War of the Wedding Venue Selection wedding planning challenges into perspective like watching Mr. Grylls gut a camel in the Sahara Desert to salvage water drained from the camel’s dung, which he dug out with his BARE hands.  Right before he ate goat testicles. And then vomited.

And I thought choosing a venue and date would tip me over the edge.

I want to tell you more stories, but I think I’ll save the tarantula-eating story for a later post.  Well, either that or I’ll tell you about the one where he urinates on his shirt and then wraps it around his head to stay cool, and then pees a perimeter around his camp to keep the coyotes away.

People, I cannot make this stuff up.

If you threw me into the wilderness, I would just lay right down in a big, fat ball and yell TAKE ME LORD.  Similar to what I said after the third bridal gown store didn’t have the dress I wanted.

Anyway.

Rapid topic change coming in 3-2-1…

So here’s the latest on a venue we’re considering.  It’s a working horse farm.  But without–somehow–all the smelly horsey stuff.  R went with Ms. Wedding Planner on Saturday to take a look and snapped some shots with his iPhone.

It’s pretty much just our style.   We really wanted to incorporate the mountains and the landscape into the wedding somehow.  The views at this place do just that.

Keep your fingers crossed that they don’t ask for our firstborn child to hold a reception there.   Apparently, that’s all the rage.