I’m 109% sure that I’ve asked every person on my guest list for their mailing address–at least twice–after they already gave it to me. I’m 6 shades of wedding crazy right now. What’s your name? Are you on my guest list? You are? What’s your address? You sent it to me last week? I didn’t [...]

Me:  Baby, do you want a prenuptial? R:  For all your debt? Me:  Touche. R:  Actually, no.  Because I’ll need you to pay for all my debt, too. Me:  Fair enough. +++ Me:  Baby, I need you to ask the maintenance guy about fixing my bathroom fan. R:   I’m not man of the house yet [...]

Every morning I usually have to return to my apartment for something I forgot on my way out the door–about 4 seconds after I get in my car. It’s usually my beast of a travel makeup bag.  Which I haven’t unpacked since the last trip I took.  A month ago. I usually don’t put my [...]

Me:  Baby, I really have enjoyed pretty much doing whatever I want to for the last 29 years.  I might miss that.  A little. R:  Really? Me:  Yeah.   I’m just sayin. R:  Thanks for being honest about that, baby.  [Loving and Humble, party of one, please.] +++ The other day, I invited my girlfriend E [...]

Alright, I found a dress. In the LAST store, on my LAST day with my mom on our mini-vacation-for-dress-shopping-excursion-thingy. There were tears of dispair. Then tears of joy. Then McDonalds. Because hello, what ELSE would you eat to celebrate the finding of the dress to end all dresses forever and ever amen? And we picked [...]

Oh wait.  That time is RIGHT NOW. 678 stores later, I have nothing. Except two “maybes.” But I’m looking for the one that sings The Hills Are Alive! And the other two have only hummed it. One more store today. One. More. And then I’m making a decision. Maybe.